Parents, Are You Up To It?

If I asked 10 different people what the hardest job in the world was, I'd probably get several different answers.  If I asked the same people what the most rewarding job in the world was, I'm pretty sure that some of them would have the same answer as the hardest job - being a parent.  Being a parent is tough and few people come by the skills to be a good parent without a lot of slips and slides on the way.


Many folks have trouble trusting our Heavenly Father because their own fathers were not good role models.  Many mothers pick other things in importance over their children, fathers do that too.  Notice I called them mothers and fathers, because dad, daddy, mom, mommy are earned, they are not titles they are terms of endearment.  You may require a child to call you that but the love and respect that does with the name cannot be required or commanded.


Today's writing is hard for me because as a parent I failed in so many ways.  I look back and I wonder how could I have been so blind and at times stupid.  I'm not writing today because I did it right or I got it all figured out, I'm writing today because I hope at least one person will read something that helps them.


I can tell you some things that I learned in making my mistakes.  I learned that a child will learn your bad habits and traits a lot easier and a lot more consistently than they will your good ones.  I learned that a child will do whatever it takes to get your attention.  They want good attention and love but they will take any attention they can get.  If they do not get it from you they will seek it elsewhere and in ways that can only hurt them as they grow older.


I can also tell you some other things I've learned.  Children believe it is their fault when you do not show them love, even though they have done nothing wrong.  Children blame themselves for the smallest things, believing they are much bigger or much worse than they are.  Children become defiant and pushy as a defensive mode.  Children need love and while you may view providing for them as love, they aren't old enough to understand that, they need tangible substance to their love.  It means hugs and kisses.  It means asking about their day and listening to what they have to say.  It means listening to them and letting them know that what they have to say is important.


Now all of that seems like a never ending list of things to do and it is but what a rewarding job.  Just as children need to be loved, they need to love!  They need to be able to share their feelings and know that nothing they say or do will keep you from loving them.  And their love is so pure and selfless at least until they watch some adults for a while and learn that you can 'use' love rather than give it.


They watch what we do parents, grandparents, teachers, church leaders, they watch us all and they see what we do as well as what we tell them.   When we lie to them, they learn to lie.  And they will use it against you as they get older.  It will make you angry and you may say things like 'do as I say, not as I do'.  Ever heard that one?  How much respect do you have for the person who said it?  Probably not near as much as you had before they said it.


Children are a gift, they are the most precious gift we can receive.  They need us to lead them in God's way, not our own. 


Do you know a child today that needs direction?  It may be your own or it could be someoneelse's child or maybe it is a foster child that has no stable person in their life.  It may be a bus kid at church or a kid you see at school activities with no parent there.  Every time you see one of these, you have the opportunity of a mission field.  What you do with that mission field is up to you, but ask yourself, if it were you, what would you want someone to do?