Angry, Hopeful, Afraid and Prayerful

Yesterday I talked about the grace that God gave those that through the ages have stood and proclaimed His name even in the face of death.  As I was writing that other thoughts began to flood my mind. Those who stood there were children, parents, brothers and sisters of others that are now dealing with this tragedy.


Loved ones having to deal with the thought that the last thing your child, parent, brother or sister saw was a gunman, ready to take their life because they were Christians.  It breaks my heart.  I put myself in their place and wonder how I'd react to that phone call if it came.


Would I fall to my knees in despair?  Would I be angry?  Would I be flooded with hatred?  Would I be so devastated that I don't know where to turn?  I don't know, but I do know this, the same God that was with Stephen as He was stoned, the same God that was with the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace, the same God that gave His Son to hang on a cross, He would be there.


May I find grace and comfort in that place.  But today, I'm praying for that grace and comfort for those families in Oregon.  I know the first few days are shock, disbelief and so many other emotions.  But now as we are days away, reality has set in.  The knowledge that they are not coming home.  The finality of their death and horrible realization of why they died.


As a mother and grandmother I cannot begin to comprehend this.  I'm angry.  I'm angry that there is a sense of denial of the reality of Christians being killed just for being Christians both here and around the world.  I'm angry that rather than call it evil, leaders blame the gun.  I'm angry that the heroism of  the young man who took 7 bullets and the 2 police officers who rushed into the line of fire, is getting much less air time than those who say 'it is the gun's fault'.  I'm angry that my granddaughter will never know the world that I grew up in.  The world where even the lost had a respect for Christianity. 


But God told us this time was coming, this is not without warning.  The Bible says the times will get worse and worse.  We are seeing it today. 


As much as I am angry, I am also hopeful, today could be the day that Jesus comes out on the cloud and calls us home.  Today the soul that is the 'last one to be saved', accepts Jesus as their Savior and time as we know it shall end.


I'm also afraid, I'm afraid for those that will not listen to His warning.  For those that refuse to accept Jesus gift of salvation.  I want to see my friends and family in heaven.  I do not want any of them left behind.  Because contrary to what you see in the movies, if you have heard the gospel, you will NOT get a second chance.  The Bible says you will believe the lie, the anti-Christ. 


Lastly, I'm prayerful.  I will pray that God brings my loved ones and yours to a saving knowledge, that their hearts will become tender and they will hear and understand.  As I say 'Even so come', I also pray 'God bring them in'.