Prayer Warrior or Wimp?

I read a friends blog earlier and to be honest with you, it hit me between the eyes.  I've been struggling the last few days.  The weather and other factors have caused pain and health issues.  Nothing major, just enough to put me on edge and make me irritable. Just enough to make me short-tempered.


When I read her blog, I hung my head.  The devil had pushed all my buttons and he knew right where to find them, because I tell him on a daily basis.  Now I don't mean to tell him but I do it none the less.  He knows when I'm in pain I tend to have little patience, so his goal is to send things that test my patience.  He knows that often I fail that test.  I fail because I do not fall into God's arms of mercy and ask for Him to meet the test.


I'm thankful for people to tell it like it is.  I need to hear it, I don't always like it but I need to hear it.  I'm thankful for preachers who truly preach the word and that my pastor is one of those.  Oh, how his messages step on my toes at times and bring conviction to my heart.


But I need those things to grow.  For a plant to grow and bring forth fruit (or veggies), not only must it be planted and watered, the ground must be kept soft, the grass & weeds that try to take root around the roots of the plant must be pulled up.  For a tree, it must be pruned, that means cutting off the dead limbs, taking out any part of the tree that will hinder the tree's growth and ability to bear fruit.


There are days that I feel all that is happening is the pulling around my roots, the pruning of my limbs.  But God sees the end result.  He sees that I need those things to happen to bear fruit.  Even though I may allow the devil to get in a few licks and slow me down, it does not stop the purpose that God has in my life.


I want to be more ready and willing to pray over everything!  I want that to be my first step, when the devil pushes my buttons, not a 2nd, 3rd or even last step.  I want the prayer to become so much a part of my routine that the devil knows pushing my buttons will result in prayer and he's afraid to push them.


I know I have a ways to go to get there but that is my desire.  I long to be the Christian that the devil says 'oh no, she's praying again!'.  I want to be a prayer warrior.  I pray, but not like I should.  But if there is any desire that God grants me, it is that I become a prayer warrior.


We have lost so many of them.  We need God to raise up those to stand in their place.  I am not worthy to be one of those yet in Christ my worth changes.  Lord, help me to fall on my knees every day in search of Your will for my life.  Help me to pray for my family and friends with a fervency that puts a hedge around them.  Show me how to pray as I should, not for my will but Yours.  May I be a prayer warrior, may I be ready to wage war for the souls of family and friends.  May I stand in the gap for those whose strength has failed.  May I totally put my trust in You for every need.


Little did I know as I wrote these words satan's greatest plan to date was in the works.  He would pull out all the stops and try to take away the things that matter most.  I must put those things in God's hands and it is hard.  I've asked God to make me a prayer warrior, now the battle is intense and for the most important things.  I must pray, first for forgiveness where I've failed and second for God to be my strength, for God to put His hand over my mouth when needed.  I must pray for God to open my mouth when it should be opened but to put His hand of warning in front of it and keep it from uttering anything out of His will. 


Earlier today I was defeated, I was ready to give us, yet I know my God has not given up and He does not want me to either.  It is a minute by minute task of prying my fingers off and putting it in His hands.  Too much is at stake for me to give up.